Conservatives, to paraphrase Art Linkletter, say the darndest things. The past several days have been no exception, as the denizens of the right have served up a steady of diet of contradictory claims, egregious gaffes and downright disturbing ditties.

Here, then, for your entertainment pleasure are the latest installments of "Today's Mantras."

"Well, from my perspective, Heather and I already are married...The way I look at it, is we're just waiting for state and federal law to catch up with us."
- Mary Cheney, May 4, 2006.

"What's the point of having a statute if . . . the president can cherry-pick what he likes and what he doesn't like?"
- Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA), May 3, 2006.

"I have said on many occasions I don't think we had enough force there [Iraq] at that time to impose order."
- Colin Powell, April 30, 2006.

"George Bush has become something of an embarrassment."
- Tony Snow, November 11, 2005.

"[The] Strategic Reserve should not be used as an attempt to drive down oil prices right before an election. It should not be used for short-term political gain at the cost of long-term national security."
- Candidate George W. Bush, September 21, 2000.

"I base a lot of my foreign policy decisions on some things that I think are true. One, I believe there's an Almighty. And, secondly, I believe one of the great gifts of the Almighty is the desire in everybody's soul, regardless of what you look like or where you live, to be free."
- President Bush, April 24, 2006.

For more of the alarming, banal, hateful and bizarre commentary from the conservative chattering class, see the complete list of Today's Mantras.