Romney-Vick '08
Fresh off his underwhelming multi-million dollar victory in the Iowa straw poll Saturday, Mitt Romney's campaign is once again being dogged by, well, dogs. Appearing on Fox News with Chris Wallace, Romney was forced to once again defend his past penchant for rooftop canine waterboarding. At least Romney can take comfort in the availability of the perfect running mate for his White House run: Michael Vick.
Given the universe of Romney's failings, Fox host Wallace took Mitt to task for taking family vacations with his Irish Setter Seamus in a kennel tied to the roof of his car. After an incredulous Wallace said of his own Yellow Lab, "I would no sooner put him in a kennel on the roof of my car than I would one of my children," Romney claimed ignorance of the Massachusetts law he had violated:
"I wasn't familiar with that in terms of Massachusetts law. Love my dog. We've had a lot of dogs over the years. Love them. Seamus, as his name is, climbed up there all by himself, enjoyed his ride, and whether you're in the back of a pickup truck or in the rooftop carrier, it was a good ride. And all I can tell you is I didn't know that there was any problem with that in terms of the law. And he was a good friend of the family. We love our pets."
All of which puts Mitt Romney in good company with the indicted dog fighting impresario, Michael Vick. Vick, the Atlanta Falcons star quarterback, was indicted on July 17th on charges he used his property to train and fight pit bulls. In April, Vick denied any involvement in the case involving his cousin, claiming he too was ignorant of any criminality:
"I'm never there. I'm never at the house. I left the house with my family members and my cousin. They just haven't been doing the right thing."
On July 30, Vick in his first public interview proclaimed not only innocence, but that he was a man of faith:
"It's a crisis situation for me, but I'm going to get through it and I feel, by the grace of God, that's the only way. I believe in the outcome at the end, and that's why I put my faith in the man upstairs."
Which makes Michael Vick the ideal running mate for Romney. In 2006, Romney told Fox News, "People in this country want a person of faith to lead them as their president." Their compatibility doesn't end there. While Michael Vick can play almost any position, Mitt Romney can hold almost any position (and probably has). In addition, Vick enjoys the support of the NAACP, which could help Romney rebuild bridges with the organization after he (along with virtually every GOP candidate) snubbed their annual meeting. Best of all, both Romney and Vick have both been targeted for retribution by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), one of the favorite bogeymen of conservative Republican primary voters.
Given all the barking over his surprisingly narrow margin of victory in Iowa yesterday, Mitt Romney will have to scramble to win the Republican nomination. Which is why it's time for "Romney-Vick '08."
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ROTFLMAO
Posted by Megan on August 12, 2007 12:26 PMOh sweet Jesus. That's excellent!
Posted by Jeff on August 13, 2007 8:55 AMSomebody just has to do the bumper sticker!
Posted by VJB on August 13, 2007 10:31 AMWow, I wonder if PETA would be happy if Vick was publicly lynched or burned at the stake? Vick has become a symbol of evil to be reviled and made fun of, while Bush and co continue to rape the planet. His crimes (which were limited to a small population of pit bulls) stay in the public consciousness and in the media while crimes that affect all of humanity remain under the radar. No one in America really wants to look in the mirror and accept the sacrifices that we would need to in order to have a humane and environmentally sane nation.
Posted by barbosa on August 13, 2007 2:06 PMWhy surely then Chris Wallace must be a vegan... I don't see how people can be so offended by Michael Vick's actions yet continue to kill "other" animals to satisfy their tastebuds.
Posted by Jeremy on August 15, 2007 2:27 PMman free vick if a white man did somthin lie this this would not be this big of a deal real talk
Posted by daniel on August 27, 2007 8:31 PMThere once was a candidate named Mitt,
He was quite the notable twit,
His doggie, named Seamus,
Would later be famous,
For covering Mitt's wagon with shit!
There are hundreds of limerick's about a candidate named Mitt just waiting to be written, folks...
Posted by AML on December 1, 2007 1:12 PMA Hokie soon leaves for the pokie
A Falcon to take his last knee
The Longest Yard QB
Georgia Bulldog now he?
In a correctional facility
Todd - Denver
Posted by Todd on December 11, 2007 2:36 PM