Mitt Romney, as you'll recall, avoided combat duty in the rice fields of Vietnam by getting multiple deferments to perform his Mormon mission in the vineyards of France. And while candidate Romney has called for a war against virtually all Muslim groups worldwide and pledged to "double Guantanamo," he has deployed his sons to the cornfields of Iowa to aid his campaign. The perfect hair and gleaming teeth of the Romney clan are found on the Five Brothers blog, not with a band of brothers outside of Baquba.

So on Wednesday, Rachel Griffiths of Milan, Illinois asked Romney about the non-service of his privileged sons, one of whom is completing a 99 county tour of Iowa in a campaign RV. Romney's answer was, well, Romneyesque;

"My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president. I respect that and respect all those and the way they serve this great country."

In typical fashion, Romney conflated selfishness with selflessness. But if the response of Ms. Griffiths was any indication, American voters are waking up to the Great Pretender. Asked if she was satisfied with Mitt's glib answer, Griffiths said:

"Of course not. He told me the way his son shows support for our military and our nation is to buy a Winnebago and ride across Iowa and help him get elected."

Luckily for Romney, no one asked him about his predilection for rooftop canine waterboarding.

UPDATE: Rachel Griffiths herself apparently has more over at DailyKos.

The Bushboard list of Top 10 GOP Sound Bites has seen another week of movement at the top of the charts. The Iraq war funding debate, the PurgeGate implosion of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and last week's landscape-changing Supreme Court decision combined to produce a new crop of omnipresent Republican talking points.

Rocketing to #1 is "Surrender Date." That haunting ballad from George Bush, Dana Perino and Mitch McConnell is just the latest smash hit from the GOP's double-platinum Iraq Remix LP. "Micromanage the War" and "Slow Bleed" held firm at number three and four, respectively. Holding firm at #2 is Alberto Gonzales' poignantly pathetic solo effort, "I Don't Recall" from his Eight is Enough release. And with the ruling in the so-called partial birth abortion case, the classic "Culture of Life" returned to #5 in the rankings.

For previous lists of the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites, visit here.

With each passing day, the scandal-plagued Bush White House more and more resembles a 2000 episode of The Simpsons. During a check up, the nuclear power tycoon Mr. Burns is informed by his doctor that "you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything." (See a video clip here.) But the doctor reassures Burns that the news isn't all bad and that he will survive because "all of your diseases are in perfect balance."

In fact, George W. Bush may be hanging on because of, and not despite, the staggering epidemic of scandals enveloping his administration.

There are many factors explaining why this scandal-ridden presidency with a 28% approval rating even has a pulse at all. One is simply the "crowding out" effect. That is, the sheer number of scandals, probes, inquiries and convictions prevents the media - and the American people - from focusing on any given one. In the absence of a smoking gun in, for example, PlameGate or the U.S. attorneys purge, the scandals compete for air time and attention. The complexities of the illegalities and misdeeds surrounding the project for a permanent Republican majority fade, disappearing into the haze. While terminally-ill, the Bush presidency has yet to suffer a death blow.

Its surprising resilience is of course aided by the American 24/7 media industry for whom politics is now mere theater, just another form of entertainment. There is no journalistic search for objective truth. Instead, all controversies are presented as ideological clashes morality plays with two sides. In that format, the "best" entertainers are the loudest, most aggressive and most theatrical. Whether the issue is Jack Abramoff, Tom Delay or the CIA leak case, the result is the same. Bill Kristol, Robert Novak, Tom Delay, Sean Hannity and their fellow goose-steppers in the conservative amen corner comically protest "the criminalization of politics." In reality, of course, it is the Republicans who are trying to politicize crime.

To gauge the crowding out effect of competing scandals, you can start with the Bush White House. The list is mind-boggling. The Abramoff scandal. The student loan imbroglio. The 2003 Medicare budget fraud and threats to chief actuary Richard Foster. The outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. NSA domestic surveillance. The political purge of U.S. prosecutors. Doctoring environmental reports. The "Reading First" fraud. The K Street Project. Dick Cheney's secret energy task force. $9 billion in missing Iraq reconstruction funds. GOP hacks running the Iraq Provisional Authority. Halliburton war profiteering. Blocking FDA approval of Plan B. Lying to the American people about regulating CO2 emissions. The GSA's violations of the Hatch Act. Bypassing federal records law by using RNC email servers. Undermining the Voting Rights Act. The Hurricane Katrina response. And, of course, the fabricated case for Iraq WMD.

As Rahm Emanuel detailed, the Bush administration "Hall of Shame" of the criminal, the suspect and the ridiculous is long as well. David Safavian. Scooter Libby. Karl Rove. Thomas Sculley. Lurita Doan. Alberto Gonzales. Kyle "Dusty" Foggo. Bernard Kerik. Kyle Sampson. Monica Goodling. Claude Allen. Matteo Fontana. Stephen Griles and Sue Ellen Wooldridge. Phillip Cooney. Gail Norton. Michael Brown. Jim O'Beirne.

Many of President Bush's GOP friends in Congress are also among America's most wanted. The rap sheet of Banana Republicans past and present on the Hill starts with Tom Delay, joined in wrong-doing by his wife and former aides Edwin Buckham and Tony Rudy. Mark Foley (R-FL). Duke Cunningham (R-CA), Brent Wilkes and MZM. Katherine Harris (R-FL) and MZM. Bob Ney (R-OH) and his aide Neil Volz. Bill Frist (R-TN). John Doolittle (R-CA). Rick Renzi (R-AZ). Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Heather Wilson (R-NM). Jerry Lewis (R-CA) and Richard Pombo (R-CA). Don Young (R-AK) and his aide Mark Zachares. Tom Feeney (R-FL). And who could forget the Midas touch of Jack Abramoff and his cohort Michael Scanlon?

Of course, the Republicans' proud record of corruption extends to the states as well. The list includes Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher and former Ohio chief Bob Taft. Taft aide and Bush ranger Tom Noe finds himself in prison. Born-again Christian turned born-again Abramoff accomplice Ralph Reed. And in California, there's cronyism and conflict of interest aplenty with Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

A thorough accounting of the crimes and ethical failings of George W. Bush and his Republican allies would make the Encyclopedia Britannica look like cliff notes in comparison. The mind reels and eyes glaze over in contemplating all the wrong-doing of the Bush years. Which is exactly why his presidency still stands, even though the fog.

In that classic Simpson's episode, Montomery Burns' physician explains that his myriad diseases are actually good news, ensuring his health by balancing each other out. "Here's the door to your body, see?" the doctor says, continuing, "Here's what happens when they all try to get through the door at once. We call it, 'Three Stooges Syndrome.'" To which Mr Burns replies, "So what you're saying is, I'm indestructible."

At best, the Three Stooges is also a good metaphor for the presidency and party of George W. Bush. But it appears President Bush too, like Mr. Burns, may be indestructible.

As you enjoy this Easter Sunday with your respective faith, family and favorite chocolate bunny, take a moment to contemplate the demented words of the indicted former House Majority Leader on the day of his booking last year: "let people see Christ through me."

Here, then, is a flashback to my piece from last March, "Tom Delay's Christ Complex."

Tom Delay has never been shy about comparing himself to Jesus Christ. In 2001, Delay defended his none-too-subtle campaign to bring his fundamentalism to the United States Congress, "People hate the messenger. That's why they killed Christ." At last weekend's "War on Christians" conference, Delay's American Taliban allies elevated his Christ complex to the level of a crusade.

Vision America founder and conference host Pastor Rick Scarborough led the way in the deification of Delay. Scarborough, whose latest book is titled "Liberalism Kills Kids," attributed Delay's fall from grace not to his corruption and ethics woes, but to his Christian faith:

"I believe the most damaging thing that Tom DeLay has done in his life is take his faith seriously into public office, which made him a target for all those who despise the cause of Christ."

Scarborough continued in his praise of Delay, telling his audience and radical right luminaries such as Alan Keyes, Phyllis Schalfly and Kansas Senator Sam Brownback, "This is a man, I believe, God has appointed...to represent righteousness in government."

Given his two indictments in Texas and repeated admonishments by the House for ethics violations, Tom Delay would be seem an unlikely choice for such divine intervention. He was, after all, a late subtraction from the program of January's Justice Sunday III, the last of the Family Research Council's trilogy of events decrying supposed judicial activism and other imagined offenses against so-called "values voters."

While Tom Delay may compare himself to Jesus, he's clearly on the side of the money changers. Delay counts among his "closest and dearest friends" the twice-convicted felon and Republican lobbyist extraordinaire Jack Abramoff. Only today, former Delay deputy chief of staff Tony Rudy pled guilty to conspiracy charges. He joins former Delay staffer and one-time Abramoff partner in pleading guilty. Delay's former chief of staff, Edwin Buckham, extracted over $1 million from Delay's charity, the U.S. Family Network, a non-profit launched while he was still in Delay's employ. And in 2001, Delay's wife and daughter hauled in over $500,000 from his political action and campaign committees.

Last weekend, Delay was unapologetic and about his long, growing and decidedly un-Christian rap sheet. Delay, who once said, "I don't believe there is a separation of church and state" and proclaimed his mission was to bring "a biblical worldview to government," wowed the friendly crowd at the "War on Christians" event:

"Sides are being chosen, and the future of man hangs in the balance! The enemies of virtue may be on the march, but they have not won, and if we put our trust in Christ, they never will."

As Delay left the stage of the "War on Christians" event on Sunday, Pastor Scarborough said "God always does his best work after a crucifixion" and urged the Hammer, "Keep your eyes on Jesus."

He would do better to keep his eyes on prosecutor Ronnie Earle and the voters of Texas' 22nd Congressional district.

"Standing next to Shaq is an awe-inspiring experience."

The President, however, may have been somewhat less inspired had he known about Shaq's comments about him just two days earlier. Reacting to questions about his selection to the NBA All-Star game despite starting only 10 games, O'Neal joked:

"I'm like President Bush. You may not like me, you may not respect me, but you voted me in."

Shaq may not be able to shoot free throws, but apparently he's not a bad judge of character.

"There's a lot of talk about Iraq on our TV screens, and there should be, because we're trying to figure out how best to make the world a peaceful place. There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." [Click here for video.]

As it turns out, the incredulity of the American people is shared by many within the Pentagon and the Bush administration itself. On February 2nd, National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley (who had blessed the infamous 16 words in Bush's ill-fated 2003 State of the Union), acknowledged that the public case against Iran was held back because it was "overstated" and not "focused on the facts." New CentComm commander William Fallon declared "I have no idea who may be actually with hands-on in this stuff." And even as a third American carrier battle group prepares to steam to the Persian Gulf, Joint Chiefs Chairman Peter Pace rejected any authoritative conclusion that the government in Tehran ordered the weapons shipments described by anonymous U.S. military briefers. (Their Powerpoint presentation is available here.) During a visit to Australia, Pace told the Voice of America:

"We know that the explosively formed projectiles are manufactured in Iran. What I would not say is that the Iranian government, per se, knows about this. It is clear that Iranians are involved, and it's clear that materials from Iran are involved, but I would not say by what I know that the Iranian government clearly knows or is complicit."

The JCS chairman's posture on the dubious evidence for meddling by the Ahmadinjed government created problems almost immediately for the White House. Press Secretary Tony Snow was grilled at Tuesday's briefing by CNN's Ed Henry (among others), who pointedly asked, "Are you saying that you, from this podium, know more than the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff?" Under withering assault over the briefer's assertion Saturday that "the highest levels of the Iranian government" approved the weapons transfers, Snow could only muster:

"Do we have a signed piece of paper from Mr. Khamenei or from President Ahmadinejad signing off on this? No. But are the Quds Forces part of the army - part of the government? The answer is yes. So the question is, I think this ends up being a semantic dispute about senior levels of the government or the government. And the fact is, the government knows about it."

Snow's semantic battles are only the tip of the iceberg for a Bush White House facing global skepticism over its claims of Iranian involvement in Iraq. For starters, U.S casualties in Iraq are overwhelmingly due to attacks from Sunni insurgents and Al Qaeda fighters, not the Mehdi Army of Shia cleric Muqtada Al Sadr supposedly being armed by Iran. (U.S. briefer claimed that 170 Americans were killed by Iranian manufactured "explosively-formed penetrators" first pioneered by its client Hezbollah in Lebanon.) More puzzling, the evidence suggests that the Iranians are arming both Al Sadr and the U.S.-backed Supreme Council for Islamic Revolution in Iraq or SCIRI. The head of SCIRI and leader of the largest Shiite faction in the Maliki government, Abdul-Aziz al-Hakim, met with President Bush at the White House in December 2006.

Over at the Washington Monthly, Kevin Drum concurs with Leila Fadel of the McClatchey Newspapers that "the evidence of Iranian meddling in Iraq...is far more compelling than much of the administration's pre-war intelligence about Iraq." But Drum continues, "Still, everyone is skeptical, and who can blame them?"

After all, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And to paraphrase President Bush and the Who, we won't get fooled again.

"I welcome debate at a time of war and I hope you know that. Nor do I consider a belief that if you don't happen to agree with me, you don't share the same sense of patriotism I do. You can get that thought out of your mind if that's what some believe."

As it turns out, that is exactly what President Bush, his Republican Party and its amen corner appear to believe.

It was President Bush, after all, who lashed out at Democrats in the run-up to the mid-term elections, declaring them virtual traitors on October 31, 2006:

"However they put it, the Democrat approach in Iraq comes down to this: The terrorists win and America loses."

President Bush, of course, has had plenty of company among the leading lights of the Republican Party in questioning the patriotism of the Democratic opposition. In 2004, Vice President Dick Cheney described the significance of a John Kerry victory, "if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again." And just the day before President Bush's faux olive branch, White House press secretary Tony Snow got in the act. Snow, who had once branded now Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid "wheezy prophets of the Defeatocrat Party," tried to tar the Democrats with the traitors' brush:

"As you know, and I've said many times, Osama bin Laden thought the lack of American resolve was a key reason why he could inspire people to come after us on September 11th. I am not accusing members of the Senate of inviting carnage on the United States of America. I'm simply saying, you think about what impact it may have."

The President's now emasculated allies in Congress are among the most notorious - and frequent - violators of Bush's supposed call for bipartisanship on national security matters. In the wake of the debate over the Military Commissions Act and its gutting of habeas corpus rights, then House Speaker Dennis Hastert attacked the Democrats who would "would gingerly pamper the terrorists who plan to destroy innocent Americans' lives," adding, "surprise that the Democrats in the House put their liberal agenda ahead of the security of America." Hastert was joined by the mercifully former House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH), who pronounced:

"The Democrats' partisan opposition to this program, at the urging of the radical leftist element of their Party, provides further proof that they continue to put politics ahead of addressing the security concerns of the American people...it underscores why the American people don't trust Democrats when it comes to national and homeland security."

In the 2006 elections, of course, the American people proved Boehner and his fellow GOP attack dogs wrong. The Republicans were overwhelmingly defeated and lost both their House and Senate majorities. By late January, a majority of American disapproved of President Bush's handling of terrorism, opposed his planned troop increases in Iraq and overwhelmingly preferred Democratic Congressional leadership in addressing Bush's Iraq debacle.

Addressing the new Democratic House majority on Saturday, a two-faced President Bush disingenuously claimed he sought to make peace with his Capitol Hill foes:

"I really hope that the members out there get a sense that I bear no ill will, I bring no animosity about the fact that we may not agree on every position, and that I am appreciative of the contributions they make."

We know he was lying, as the expression goes, because his lips were moving.

The building bipartisan opposition to the President's proposed troop surge in Iraq and the crickets-chirping reception to Bush's abysmal State of the Union address have led to another dramatic shake-up in the list of Top 10 GOP Sound Bites.

The President's hard-charging counterattack has moved two right-wing talking points up the charts. The new #1 is the thrashing "Embolden the Enemy," performed by George Bush, Dick Cheney, Robert Gates and Tony Snow, with guest vocals from Joe Lieberman. Jumping all the way to #4 is President Bush's haunting ballad, "Mixed Messages."

Meanwhile, some Republican golden oldies tumbled in this week's Bushboard chart. With the changing fortunes of the illegal NSA domestic surveillance program, "No Civil Liberties (When You're Dead)" by the Senate trio of Pat Roberts, John Cornyn and Jeff Sessions dropped off the charts. "Terrorist Surveillance Program, another smash hit from the White House's double-platinum This is Wiretap release, slid to #8.

Past Top 10 GOP Sound Bites charts are available here.

Among Democrats, Republicans and the media at large, a rhetorical conflict to control the marketing of the Bush message on Iraq is well underway. From almost the moment the Iraq Study Group report landed with a thud on the President's desk, the mainstream media reported on Bush's pending "surge" in U.S. force levels. Democrats portrayed Bush's doubling-down in Baghdad as an "escalation". (Interestingly, only "escalation" appears in the Pentagon's official U.S. military dictionary.) And just last week, the feckless Secretary of State Condi Rice feebly hoped to assuage the Senate by referring her boss' new Iraq strategy as an "augmentation."

As ever, Perrspectives is here to help resolve the rhetorical confusion. Here, then, is a quick vocabulary lesson in understanding the White House:

As 2006 comes to a close, the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites chart has been turned upside down. In the wake of the Republicans' midterm election nightmare and the battering of the Iraq Study Group report, a bevy of GOP favorites have fallen off the list.

Nowhere is the shake-up more evident than in the declining fortunes of the Republicans' Iraq Remix LP. Smash hits with a great beat you could dance to like George Bush's thumping "Stay the Course" and Tony Snow's haunting "Adapting to Win" are gone from the charts altogether. While the RNC classic "Cut and Run (No Surrender)" is still hanging on at #7, newer melancholy tunes from the President's team, including "New Way Forward" (#1), "Surge" (#2) and "Fresh Eyes" (#4) now top the charts.

The pre-election ditty from Dennis Hastert and his friends at Fox News, "San Francisco Values" remains a solid #3. But other Hastert classics from the short-lived You've Got Male FoleyGate Dance Mix, including "Ongoing Investigation" and "George Soros and the Democrats" quickly disappeared from the list.

For the archives of past Top 10 GOP Sound Bites lists, visit here.

The last two weeks have produced a dramatic shake-up in the Top 10 GOP Sound Bite list. The exploding Mark Foley scandal, the disintegration of Iraq and the new terrorist detainee legislation sent a bevy of Republican ditties racing up the charts. Meanwhile, some old conservative standards have fallen by the way side.

Soon-to-be former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert now has three smash hits at the top of the charts. Hastert's hard-rocking cut "(Democrats) Pamper the Terrorists" from the GOP's pre-election Geneva Convention Blues release is this week's new #1. Two singles from the House Republicans' You've Got Male ode to Mark Foley follow close behind. Hastert's dance remix of Scott McClellan's 2005 smash hit "Ongoing Investigation," performed with Ken Mehlman, Tony Snow, Tom Reynolds and John Shimkus, catapulted to #2. Meanwhile, the haunting ballad "Democrats and Soros" comes in at #3.

The carnage in Iraq and the coming Iraq Study Group report from Bush family consigliere James Baker III have sent three GOP favorites plummeting down the rankings. Last week's #1, "Cut and Run," dropped to #4, while "Stay the Course" dipped to fifth place. The nonsensical Bush-Cheney rap "Adapting to Win," with backing vocals from Donald Rumsfeld and Condi Rice, fell to number 10. Other past monster hits from President Bush's Iraq Remix, including "Better to Fight Them There Than Here" and "We're Making Progress," have disappeared from the Top 10 altogether.

You can see the archives of the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites list in the Perrspectives Image Gallery here.

To help the Republicans extricate themselves from their current quandary, here some ads for the GOP we'd like to see:

• "The GOP: Turning Over a New Page in '06"
• "The Republicans: Standing Behind Our Children"
• "The GOP: Rewriting American History, One Page at a Time"
• "The Republicans: Stopping Mark Foley from Getting Married"
• "The Republicans: Do We Make You Horny?"
• "Republicans: The Other White Meat"
• "The RCCC: Putting the Pork Back in Politics"
• "The GOP: The Children Are Our Future"
• "The GOP '06: Jail Bait, Not Jail Time"
• "The Republicans: You've Got Male"

For reader suggestions on what "GOP" now stands for, visit the Perrspectives "Define GOP Contest."

Despite President Bush's poll numbers languishing in the low 30's, the 2006 GOP midterm platform of "nothing to run on but fear itself" got a giant boost with the UK airliner plot. Among other mouthpieces of the right, Vice President Cheney is already on message with his mantra of "if Lieberman loses, Al Qaeda wins."

This latest increase of the CTL represents a dramatic heightening of the right-wing threat. Only last month, the Conservative Threat Level had been lowered to Yellow/Elevated (Bill of Rights at Risk). That relative calm reflected Bush's short-lived bounce in the polls with the onset of war in Lebanon, carnage in Iraq, the fiasco at the G8 Summit and Dubya's embarrassing first-ever NAACP appearance.

Since 2000, Conservative Threat Advisory System has measured the risk posed by the GOP and the forces of reaction to national unity, civil liberties, and equal opportunity. Protect yourself and your country - learn more about the Conservative Threat Advisory System today!

Of course, this isn't the first time President Bush chose to fiddle while Rome burned. In the wake of Hurricane Katrina last summer, the President opted to leave the dead, the dying and the stranded of an inundated New Orleans on their own. Instead, Bush continued his August vacation, strumming the guitar with country singer Mark Wills in sunny California.

Back in June, we asked readers to say what three words the acronym "GOP" suggested to them. Three weeks and hundreds of entries later, the Republican party of Bush, Cheney, Rove, Frist, Delay and Abramoff is no longer the "Grand Old Party." Instead, Perrspectives readers offered new definitions for today's GOP, the party of the prudish and the partisan, the power-hungry and the privacy haters, the corrupt and the criminal, the fanatical and the fear-mongers, the faithful and the frauds.

The first prize of an iPod Shuffle goes to reader Mike, with his simple "George Orwell's Prediction." A $50 Amazon.com gift certificate goes to Lance for "Gag Our Press." And our contest featured four third-place finishers, including Kris ("Going Off to Prison"), William ("Gospel Of Privilege"), Steve ("Gay Obsessed Psychos") and L.G. ("Grotesque Orwellian Parody"). Each wins a Perrspectives "Conservative Threat Level" t-shirt.

Thanks to all for the excellent entries. For past Perrspectives contest results, be sure to check out last year's "Karl Rove Whack-a-Mole Contest" and the "Name That Bush Scandal Contest."

The past two weeks have seen a changing of the guard atop the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites list.

With the contentious Congressional debate over the path forward in Iraq, the fire and brimstone Republican smash hit "Cut and Run" vaulted to the top of the charts. Performed by George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Ken Mehlman and John Boehner with a chorus of hundreds on Capitol Hill, "Cut and Run" easily outpaced the new #2, "No Civil Liberties (When You're Dead)." That cut by Senators Pat Roberts, John Cornyn and Jeff Sessions is just the latest ditty from the "This is Wire Tap" sound track to move up the Bushboard list.

Dropping off the Top 10 list was the Iran war drumbeat and April's #1, "Wild Speculation" by George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. Also falling off the charts was Scott McClellan's dance mix, "(Leaking Is In) The Public Interest."

To see previous Top 10 GOP Sound Bites lists, visit the Perrspectives Image Gallery.

That's for you to answer in the Perrspectives "What Does GOP Stand For?" Contest.

The contest is simple. Tell us what you think the three-letter acronym "GOP" now stands for. With the one-time budget balancers now the budget busters and the isolationists now nation builders, what does GOP mean? Has the "Grand Old Party" become "God's Own Party?" Greed Over Patriotism? Gauging Oil Prices? Gays On Pitchforks? Got Only Probation? Guilty On Plame?

First prize for the most creative, original, irreverent or entertaining GOP definition is an iPod Shuffle. Second place earns you a $50 Amazon gift certificate. And the third place finisher will receive a Perrspectives "Conservative Threat Level" t-shirt.

Use the Feedback Form or Comments area to submit your entries. Vote early and vote often (after all, it's what the Republicans would do). The contest closes on June 30, 2006. Winners will fittingly be announced on July 4th.

NOTE: The DailyKos community is weighing in with their entries. Kossacks should be sure to comment here or use the Feedback Form so we can contact potential winners.

Last week, White House press secretary Tony Snow used his virgin press briefing to reintroduce the racial slur "tar baby" back into the vernacular. But while an unrepentant Snow attacked his critics as "unfamiliar with the pathways of American culture," it would appear that eBay offers a clear picture as to why Random House suggests "avoiding the use of the term in any context."

The point, of course, is not to stand in judgment of the eBay seller community. (In fact, its profile suggests that "Our Southern Collectibles" appears to have very satisfied customers.) Instead, it just goes to show the comfort Tony Snow and his amen corner in the Republican Party display in casually tossing out terms of racial derision and expressing fondness for Confederate nostalgia.

Now, at least, we know what Tony Snow should use to wash out his mouth.

The Dallas Business Journal and later Reuters reported the Jackson incident, who may have well broken the law. During an April 28th event, Jackson told the tale of his response to an advertising contractor critical of President Bush:

"He didn't get the contract. Why should I reward someone who doesn't like the president, so they can use funds to try to campaign against the president? Logic says they don't get the contract. That's the way I believe."

As ThinkProgress reported this afternoon, Jackson's partisanship may have violated the Federal Acquisition Regulations and Competition in Contracting Act. By the end of the day, Senator Frank Lautenberg of New Jersey and Representatives Barney Frank (MA) and Henry Waxman (CA) called for an investigation.

Jackson's patronage machine at HUD is just the latest example of the Bush cult of personality within the Bush cabinet. On Monday, the Washington Post revealed that career employees at the USDA are being forced to regurgitate White House talking points in every speech, including platitudes such as "President Bush has a clear strategy for victory in Iraq." In a May 2nd email, USDA speechwriter Heather Vaughn wrote:

"Please use these message points as often as possible and send Harry Phillips , USDA's director of speechwriting, a weekly email summarizing the event, date and location of each speech incorporating the attached language. Your responses will be included in a weekly account sent to the White House."

It should come as no surprise that the veneration of President extends to the homeland and national security leadership as well. On August 3rd, 2004, then Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge famously proclaimed "we don't do politics in the Department of Homeland Security." Yet only two days earlier, Ridge kowtowed before George W. Bush, declaring that "we must understand that the kind of information available to us today is the result of the President's leadership in the war against terror." And only last Friday, outgoing CIA Director Porter Goss praised the man who metaphorically just slit his throat:

"I honestly would report to you, sir, that we are safer for your efforts, your leadership and for the men and women in the community that are working so hard and doing so well."

Apparently, 31% of Americans agree with him.

Back in 1981, Mary's mother Lynne Cheney published "Sisters," a tale of two women's hard lives and unspoken love in the Old West. The Second Lady showed could she could write - as well as talk - some trash:

"The women who embraced in the wagon were Adam and Eve crossing a dark cathedral stage - no, Eve and Eve, loving one another as they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit and knew themselves as they truly were."

But while it was Lynne Cheney who wrote "the novel of a strong and beautiful woman who broke the rules of the American frontier," it was daughter Mary who proclaimed to Diane Sawyer on ABC last week:

"Well, from my perspective, Heather and I already are married...The way I look at it, is we're just waiting for state and federal law to catch up with us."

As it turns out, this is just the latest case of life imitating art on the Right. (For more lewd and lascivious literary behavior from Scooter Libby, Bill O'Reilly and other conservative hard liners, click here.)

Jerry Falwell, with whom McCain recently mended fences, came out against the pro-choice, pro-gay rights hero of September 11. Appearing on CNN's Late Edition, Falwell made it clear he and his followers could not back Giuliani:

"But, of course, we have, as conservative Christians who take the Bible seriously, we have probably irreconcilable differences on life and family and that kind of thing. I'll never speak an ill word about him because he means so much to America. But, yes, you're right. I couldn't support him for president."

Rudy's problems with the religious right go well beyond policy differences. To them, Giuliani the tough on crime, rock of 9/11 also embodies a permissive, tolerant lifestyle liberalism they simply cannot countenance. In 2008, the American Taliban and other supposed "values voters" won't forget that Mayor Giuliani briefly lived with gay friends after the dissolution of his marriage or that he agreed to appear in drag on TV's "Queer as Folk" to raise money for 9/11 families.

Joseph Farrah of the extremist WorldNetDaily no doubt summed up the views of many on the radical right when it comes to Giuliani:

"Is America really ready for a drag-queen president? Will Republicans be fooled again and nominate a candidate who favors unrestricted abortion on demand? Should we expect the Grand Old Party to become the Gay Old Party in 2008 and put its stamp of approval on a guy 100 percent committed to the homosexual activist agenda?"

Despite the obstacles to winning over Christian conservatives, Giuliani appears to be trying nonetheless. Newsweek's Howard Fineman described Rudy's recent pilgrimage to the Global Pastors Network meeting in Florida, "He wowed them with his energy and his revival-style witness to his faith in Jesus." Andrew Sullivan took this as a sure sign that Giuliani is moving forward with a planned 2008 campaign, "If Rudy is talking Jesus, he's going to run."

While the religious right views him with disdain, American voters apparently feel otherwise. Giuliani holds an early, narrow lead over John McCain in the race for the 2008 GOP nomination. Polls also show Rudy defeating any Democratic opponent, including John Kerry, Al Gore, John Edwards and Hillary Clinton.

Luckily for Democrats, Giuliani probably doesn't have a prayer in the Republican primaries.

UPDATE: A new documentary titled "Giuliani Time" offers a harsh look at Rudy's tenure while mayor of New York. Regardless, his troubles won't be on display on the silver screen, but south of the Mason-Dixon line.

The tumultuous events of the past week have led to a complete shake-up of the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites. Rumored plans for military strikes against Iran, revelations regarding President Bush's authorization to leak classified national security information to target political foes and the resignation of Tom Delay have combined to send some newcomers up the rankings and drop some old favorites off the charts.

Rocketing to number one is the thrash metal "Wild Speculation (Fantasy Land)" by George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. Coming in a close second is the poetic and heartfelt ballad by Scott McClellan and President Bush, "(Leaking Is In) The Public Interest." Holding its ground at #3 is "Ongoing Investigation" from the White House platinum release, "PlameGame", while the previous #1, "Terrorist Surveillance Program" dropped to fourth.

Falling off the charts this week are some Republican oldie but goodies. After 200 weeks on the Bushboard Top 10, Condi Rice's 2002 chart-topper "Smoking Gun, Mushroom Cloud" fell out of the rankings. And for the first time since 2000, George Bush's poignant NCLB ballad, "Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations" didn't crack the Top 10.

To view an archive of previous Top 10 GOP Sound Bites lists, visit the Perrspectives Image Gallery.

That is the central message in a memo from GOP pollster Jan van Lohuizen to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman. Acknowledging the GOP's current challenges, van Lohuizen says the key to maintaining Republican control of Congress is reenergizing and mobilizing the Party's dispirited base. To do that, the memo claims, the Congressional GOP must stand firm behind a president who enjoys rock-solid support among conservative voters:

The President is seen universally as the face of the Republican Party. We are now brand W. Republicans...President Bush drives our image and will do so until we have real national front-runners for the '08 nomination. Attacking the President is counter productive for all Republicans, not just the candidates launching the attacks. If he drops, we all drop.

Unfortunately for the Republicans, Brand W doesn't have the most positive connotations among consumers (that is, voters). As any marketer will tell you, an important indicator of any company or product is consumers' "unaided brand awareness," that is, whether and what potential buyers already know about it without prompting.

As the Pew Research Center recently reported, consumer awareness of Brand W is high, and the perception is strongly negative. Asked to offer a one-word description of President Bush, the most common response of survey respondents was "incompetent," followed closely by "liar" and "idiot." Positive terms such as "honest," "strong," "good," and "integrity," which dominated the Pew rankings in February 2005, are now found well down the list. It's no wonder President Bush's approval rating registered a moribund 33% in the Pew poll.

As Time Magazine reports this week, Republicans are downtrodden and depressed about their prospects in the '06 midterms. A Time poll shows Democrats enjoying a 9% lead in generic Congressional party preference polls. (Other recent polls show even larger gaps between the parties.) The same poll shows respondents believe the Democrats are better able to address virtually every major policy issue, including terrorism and Iraq.

What is the Democratic response to Ken Mehlman and the Republican National Committee over its planned "Brand W" campaign in 2006? To appropriate another famous brand message, "Just Do It."

This weekend's third anniversary of the invasion of Iraq brought another shake-up in the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites List.

Catapulting to #4 is the new White House medley, "We're Makin' Progress", performed by George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and General George Casey. Still topping the charts is the hard rocking smash hit, George W. Bush's "Terrorist Surveillance Program." Coming in a close second is Scott McClellan's lyrical magic, "Ongoing Investigation." Another cut from that same broken record, Karl Rove's "Pre-9/11 Mindset," is hanging on to #3 in the rankings.

Dropping off the charts was February's number 8 and long-time favorite, "Gathering Threat." And falling from fourth to eighth is the timeless Pat Robertson-Tony Perkins classic, "Culture of Life."

Here is the complete list of the latest Top 10 GOP Sound Bites:

With today?s guilty plea by Republican uber-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, the Congressional GOP and its K Street poject may be in for a world of hurt. As many as 20 people in the House, Senate and other Republican circles in DC may be implicated.

For all the latest news, documents, legal filings and timelines on the growing Abramoff and Delay imbroglios, be sure to visit the Perrspectives Abramoff/Delay Scandal Center.

In the mean time, here?s an updated Most Wanted poster of the Banana Republicans:

The "gay cowboy" film is also causing predictable consternation among the family values crowd. On Fox News, host Stuart Varney worried that the film would make "explicit" gay sex commonplace in American film and television. A broad range of Christian reviewers have fretted about a movie they fear is promoting a "homosexual agenda". Reviewer Ted Baehr of the Christian Film & Television Commission branded the film "abhorrent" and "twisted, laughable, frustrating and boring neo-Marxist homosexual propaganda."

Luckily, Bad Reporter Don Asmussen is able to keep the whole controversy in perspective. Here is his take on a similarly timeless love story: Brokebush Mountain.

Perrspectives is pleased to offer the ideal holiday gift for that hard-to-please progressive on your list.

As the New Year approaches, the Conservative Threat Level (CTL) t-shirt helps you and your loved prepare to resist the right-wing effort to turn back the clock to the Middle Ages. Visit the new Perrspectives store over at CafePress to get your CTL t-shirt today!

By the way, the current Conservative Threat Level is Orange/Elevated: Church and State to Merge.

The explosion of scandals engulfing the Banana Republicans is producing a growing body count.

In just the last week, California Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham resigned his House seat after pleading guilty to taking over $2.4 million in bribes from defense contractor MZM. Jack Abramoff partner Michael Scanlon entered a guilty plea for his role in swindling Native American tribes, a turn of events that may imperil a host of others in Congress, including Ohio Representative Bob Ney. Meanwhile, the PlameGate/CIA Leak case may still produce more indictments in the Bush White House.

With the 2006 mid-term elections approaching, the Republican rap sheet is not a pretty picture:

The past week has seen another shake-up in the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites.

After the President's shameless Veterans Day speech, the smash hit "Rewriting History", performed by George Bush, RNC chairman Ken Mehlman and National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley, jumped to the top of the charts. Kay Bailey Hutchison's ode to Scooter Libby, "No Underlying Crime," dropped two places to #3, while Scott McClellan's ballad "Ongoing Investigation" held firm at #2. For the first time since January 2002, George Bush's hard-rocking "Axis of Evil" fell off the charts altogether.

Here is the latest list of the Top 10 GOP Sound Bites:

One of most ironic - and enjoyable - side stories of the CIA Leak/PlameGate investigation has been the discovery of Lewis "Scooter" Libby's trashy 2001 novel, "The Apprentice."

As the New Yorker describes at length, Libby, the right-hand man for staunchly conservative Vice President Dick Cheney, seemed quite comfortable writing about prostitution, deviant sexual acts and bestiality in his bizarre coming of age tale set in 1903 Japan. No doubt Libby's "man-on-deer" and "bear-on-girl" forbidden love scenes would make Rick Santorum and friends cringe.

As it turns out, poorly crafted, soft-core pornography seems to be quite the cottage industry among America's conservative chattering classes. Much to the dismay of the family values merchants in the American Taliban, Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly ("Those Who Trespass" - 1998) and Second Lady Lynne Cheney ("Sisters" - 1981) also write - as well as talk - trash. And speaking of conservative...um...mouthpieces, who could forget male escort turned White House press stooge turned blogger, Jeff Gannon?

Back in July, Perrspectives took a look at the Top 10 GOP sound bites. What a difference a hurricane and two indictments make.

Catapulting to #1 in the charts after the Scooter Libby indictment is Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison's smash hit, "No Underlying Crime (Perjury Technicality)." "Ongoing Investigation", the previous chart-topper from Scott McClellan and George W. Bush, dropped to #2. Moving to #5 is "Criminalization of Politics", as performed by Tom Delay, Ken Mehlman, Bill Kriston and Robert Novak.

Here's the complete Top 10 GOP Post-Indictment Sound Bites:

President Bush has tried to reassure anxious conservatives over his choice of Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court, testifying to her good character by saying " I know her heart. I know what she believes."

They are not buying it. The conservative punditocracy and blogosphere are enraged with the Miers selection. George Will said that Bush "has forfeited his right to be trusted as a custodian of the Constitution." The President's amen corner is in full rebellion, with Charles Krauthammer and Bill Kristol among others calling for the President to withdraw the Miers nomination.

Sadly, President Bush's conservative allies are just now learning what the rest of us have known for years. George W. Bush is no judge of character:

The Washington Post reports that special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald may pursue criminal conspiracy charges against Karl Rove and Cheney chief of staff Lewis "Scooter" Libby in the payback outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. And ABC's George Stephanopolous claimed Sunday that "a source close to this told me this week, that President Bush and Vice President Cheney were actually involved in some of these discussions."

As you can see, the Republican rap sheet grows daily. (Click the image or click here to see a larger version.)

For more on the epidemic of GOP corruption, cronyism and patronage, see: