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January 22, 2005
To
commemorate the Second Inauguration of President George W. Bush,
Perrspectives is pleased to announce the winners of the "Name That
Bush Scandal" Contest which concluded at noon EST, January 20,
2005.
Perrspectives received entries from all over the United
States (and the world, for that matter). We'd like to thank everyone
who participated for their creativity, spirit, energy and, given the
election results, understandable angst. But while America may
be the place where , to quote President Bush, "wings take dream",
unfortunately only a select few can be recognized as winners.
The Award Winners
Perrspectives is pleased to announce the award winners, the
newest members of George W. Bush's "Ownership
Society":
The
George W. Bush Award: Jeff (Minnesota)
Jeff wins an Apple Mini-iPod for providing the best overall list of names for
all 10 scandals listed below. His entries included
"Premature Emancipation" (Bush's USS Abraham Lincoln "Mission
Accomplished" speech), "Whack-a-Mole" (Valerie Plame CIA outing),
"Rice Cake" (bogus Niger uranium claims), "Medicon" (the assorted
Medicare reform frauds) and "If the Superscripts Don't Fit, You Must
Acquit" (Bush National Guard records).
An honorable mention and a $25 Amazon.com gift certificate goes to
Walter in New York, for his suggestions of "Nuclear Fleece Movement"
(Niger uranium), "Treasonable Doubts" (Plame/Wilson scandal), "Pimp
my Pride" (Armstrong Williams pay-for-punditry) and "Jumping the
Gun-Boat" (Mission Accomplished).
The
Mission Accomplished Award: Steven
With "Iraq-style Dysfunction" (for the Iraq WMD fiasco), Steven
provided the single best scandal name. (Viagra shills Bob and
Elizabeth Dole would no concur.) Steven earns a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate for
winning a contest that is, like the President's May 2003
speech on the USS Abraham Lincoln, meaningless yet
tragic. The
Dick Cheney/Karl Rove Award:
Joshua (Pennsylvania)
Joshua's name of "Chains of Command" for the Abu Ghraib torture
scandal earns him a $25 gift certificate for the most heartless,
vicious or otherwise mean-spirited entry. Be sure to visit
Josh's blog. The
Michael Powell Award: Jeff (Minnesota)
This $25 Amazon gift certificate honors the soon-to-be former FCC
Chairman Michael Powell, and is presented to the author of the most
tasteless scandal moniker which can be announced over the public
airwaves without incurring a fine from the FCC. The winner
again is Jeff, with his Mission Accomplished speech title,
"Premature Emancipation." The
Bernard Kerik Award: Steve (Oregon)
Another $25 gift certificate goes to Steve for the biggest joke and
perhaps most apt suggestion of all, "George of the Bungle." The
National Guard Records Award: Patricia (Maryland)
Patricia snared a $25 gift certificate for pointing out and naming a
Bush scandal missing from the Top 10 List below. Her
addition was "Kerikature", for Bush's hilariously surreal
Bernard Kerik Homeland Security nomination (and subsequent
implosion).
Selected "Name That Bush Scandal" Submissions
The Perrspectives "Name That Bush Scandal" contest generated
hundreds of creative, fun and often shockingly tasteless
submissions. Decorum and space prevent listing them all, but
here is a nice cross-section:
|
Selected Bush Scandal Names |
|
SCANDAL |
NAMES SUBMITTED |
AWARD WINNER? |
|
1. |
Iraq WMD |
- Weapon of Mental Deficiency
- Wild Nukes Chase
- Nucularity
- Iraq-style Dysfunction
- Warhawks of Mass Deception
- Forecast: Mushroom Cloudy
|
Iraq-style Dysfunction
(Mission Accomplished Award)
|
|
2. |
Armstrong Williams |
- Strongarm Willings
- Funditry
- Ketchumatit
- Pay for Plaudits
- Some Like It Bought
- No Bribe Left Behind
- Hackdraft
- Propagate
- Pimp My Pride |
|
|
3. |
Abu Ghraib |
- House of Blues
- House of Bruise
- Chains of Command
- Dog Day Afternoon
- Gonzo Gate
|
Chains of Command
(Cheney/Rove Award)
|
|
4. |
Medicare Reform Budget,
Fraud(s) |
- Hypocrytic Oath
- Decepticon
- Medicon
- Elderscrew
- MediBeware
- Medicarelessness
- Medigall
- MediScam
|
|
|
5. |
Enron |
- Laybarinth
- Got Lay'd
- Party Favors
- Guys and Falls
- The 404K
- Deregugate
- The Invisible Handjob
|
|
|
6. |
Cheney Secret Energy Task
Force and Plan |
- Power Barred
- Petro-File
- Tuesdays with Enron
- Oil Slick
|
|
|
7. |
Mission Accomplished Speech
(USS Abraham Lincoln) |
- Misaccomplishmentality
- Premature Emancipation
- Premature Jock Elation
- Project Cod Peace (Piece)
- George of the Bungle
- Jumping the Gun-Boat
|
Premature Emancipation
(Michael Powell Award)
George of the Bungle
(Bernard Kerik Award)
|
|
8. |
Valerie Plame CIA Outing |
- Treasonable Doubt
- Whack-a-Mole
- Intimigate
- Nobody to Plame
- Plamethrower |
|
|
9. |
Bogus Iraq-Niger Yellowcake
Uranium Claims |
- Cake Walk
- Rice Cake
- Bay of Fibs
- Let Them Eat Yellowcake
- Nuclear Fleece Movement
- Half-Baked |
|
|
10. |
Bush National Guard
Records, Non-service |
- MIA (Missing in Alabama)
- Invisible (Air) Man
- Air Fortunate One
- Pretense of Defense
- Dubious Discharge
- Painful Discharge
- If The Superscript Doesn't
Fit, You Must Acquit |
|
More Bush Scandal Resources
The Bush administration, of course, is responsible for unending
parade of scandals, deceptions, frauds and retributions that far
exceed the list featured in the "Name That Bush Scandal" contest.
Their number, severity, and sheer cynicism is staggering; no contest
could them justice.
For more background on the gamut of Bush scandals, see:
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